So, we’ve just come off the Easter Holidays and we’ve had a really good time in Leeds, UK for the week.
This time around we flew over (my wife, my baby girl and me) to see the kids for a week. It was all set up, flights booked, and a court order in place which states contact arrangements.
Only everything wasn’t quite right.
Yet again, we receive another letter saying that the contact dates had changed (I’ve attended family court 28 times over the last 6 years, only 2 of which were my doing).
Now, what has this got to do with property investing and wealth creation I hear you ask.
Well, the point is that for the first few days before Easter, I didn’t even know if I was going to get the kids or not (despite a court order being in place).
I was stressed. I was also really angry that once again, this issue rears it’s ugly head. It’s been like this for 6 years. A never ending constant stream of solicitors letters and family court dates.
It’s the sort of thing that can stop you in your tracks, and in the past it actually has.
There was a time when I would lie in bed and not want to get out of it. Life ‘on the outside’ was just too darn painful.
And I was met with a simple decision: ‘Get busy living or get busy dying’ – if you’ve seen The Shawshank Redemption you’ll know where that line comes from.
And if I had decided to get busy dying, nobody would have said anything. What I was going through in Family Court Hell was horrific. And accpetable as an excuse to just give up.
The constant accusations of being a bad parent, a bad person and pretty much guilty of everything a divorce lawyer could chuck at you. That’s what they said.
Only I knew that this wasn’t the truth. The truth being that I’m an amazing father to 3 wonderful girls and a fabulous husband who probably should do a bit more tidying up after himself.
And so I decided to get busy living. And one step at a time I began to rebuild my life into what it is today. I could have quite easily not. Because it was such a painful process.
So after 6 years of Family Court Hell (Literally at one point last year, my kids were with held yet again for 3 weeks, and when I took it to the judge at the court to regain contact, the Judge yelled at me for being selfish – go figure) – here we still are.
Still playing those same games. But still here. Only now we have 6 years of experience. We have 6 years of strategies for dealing when the shit hits the fan.
It’s what we call experience. And the only way you get that is by going into it head on, and dealing with whatever issue is holding you back right now.
But the other reason for this email, other than to show you that the experience is worth it and how it makes you stronger, is to also show you that this stuff doesn’t go away.
You just get better at handling it. Sure, sometimes we may lose.
But not this time. A 2 page letter stating what needed to happen soon put paid to that.
When the solicitor calls YOU ‘overly litigious’. You know you’re onto a winner.
Look. You don’t suddenly become successful and everything in your life turns amazing.
EVERYTHING takes work.
Your health. Your relationships. Your finances. EVERYTHING.
The key is to keep going. To be organized. To have a plan. And to stick to it.
One day, perhaps I’ll be part of your plan through my ongoing support and coaching for whatever it is you need.
But for now, I hope that you stick at whatever it is you want.
Grasp it with both hands. Because it’s possible.