Why do we we lie to ourselves?
I was thinking about a podcast that I did with Johnnie Cass (Podcast 8 if you want to listen to the whole range of content) and there was one section within that which I am going to go into more detail with you. Johnnie is a great guy and he was one of the trainers when I did my NLP training with Chris Howard so mindset for us is a really important thing.
Johnnie was talking about a moment in his life when he left the UK and went back to Australia to live. He wasn’t working at the time and he also wasn’t sure what he was going to do next. He did one of the things at the time which most of us do with people that we know but we’re not really close to. When they would ask him how things are going he would reply something like “Yeah things are going great right now. I’m just working on some new things and seeing where it goes but everything’s good.” The problem is that inside of himself he wasn’t thinking that and it’s something that we all do.
We are told by so many of these top people like Tony Robbins for instance, that we have to feel on top of the world all of the time. That we have to change our state when we aren’t feeling our best. But is that really true? If you are in a place where you feel a bit lost and you’re not sure where you’re going, do you really need to be changing that?
The Magic Of Feeling Crap
There are some days that you wake up in a morning and you don’t feel like you’re on fire and ready to hit everything full steam ahead. According to the NLP world you have to do something to change that and make yourself feel great. But what if what you’re feeling right now is actually the right way for you to be feeling in this moment?
When you feel bad, it’s for a reason. There’s some type of message coming through from either your body or your subconscious mind telling you that there’s something it’s either unsure about or isn’t right for you. Sometimes you need to go through the bad feeling and see what it is telling you. You might be trying to go down a path that isn’t right for you and the message is trying to stop you so that you can take the right path. Maybe you haven’t got the right skill set yet and you need to learn some things first. If you are feeling lost in your direction then it tends to come down to a few things
- No clear goals in sight
- Lack of direction
- Lack of things to do
- Lack of motivation
Let’s say for example that your life is feeling upside down at the moment and you’re not feeling in control of what is happening to you. You need to do listen to the message that is coming through telling you that there is an uncertainty and/or unhappiness that needs resolving. Then you can do something that is unusual such as I recommended to a client of mine.
Her life had gone to the wall. Her marriage had broken down, her husband took the kids and the house and she was left feeling alone and not knowing where to go. So I told her to go out and do something different such as salsa dancing. This then gave her the opportunity to embrace the uncertainty in her life by embracing it rather than trying to ignore it or fight against it.
When the snow comes, the buffalo stands and face the storm. It never turns it’s back to it.
This is what you need to do too. When those tough times come you need to listen to the messages and embrace the uncertainty. That puts you in a point of control and shows your subconscious mind that even though there’s all of this stuff going on that you can still have fun and enjoy the ride.
So if you’re feeling stuck or lost at the moment, go out and create something that isn’t normal for you to be doing. Give yourself that gift today.