Lets talk about opinions shall we ?

And when someone has a strongly voiced opinion, I'm always interested in who this person is and what their motivations are.

Let's take breastfeeding in public - just earlier today I saw a post and someguy screaming his way through Facebook saying how wrong it was breastfeeding in public.

Now obviously, I think breastfeeding in public is perfectly fine, if you have a problem with it, you probably need to get some help, or your cultural or religious views need updating to 2018.

But think about it for a second - what's his upbringing (andhis culture), what's his background, why does he hold such strong opinions that he thinks he can try and stop people breastfeeding in public?

Why does it even bother only him so much, but not everyone else in the UK (or America for that fact)

Here in Spain of course, it's the most natural thing ever.

Or what about Colin Kaepernick and that Nike Advert.

How many upset people have you seen about this !

Literally the funniest thing on the internet a few days ago was grown men taking a pair of Nike socks and cutting them up.

Now I don't know what this 2 Dollar pair of socks did to make him so upset, but they were going to get cut up whether they liked it or not. And then posted on social media, so everyone knew where 'Cleetus' (probably not his real name) stood on this matter of opinion.

I do notice that I didn't see anyone setting fire to the 1989 original Air Jordan sneakers though.

Although hilariously I did see one guy setting fire to his sneakers WHILE HE WAS WEARING THEM !

Now - it's not for me to say one way or the other whats right and whats wrong - although I'm going to ... because that's how opinions work isn't it.

Did you see what I did there?

Go back and read that last little paragraph again. I know you're now waiting for my opinion on this, but I'm not going to give it just yet because I want you to understand what I'm trying to convey here. These are more than just words my friends 😉

Opinions are just opinions.

They're not fact.

They're not the law.

Nobody has to abide by an opinion.

When someone tells you 'well, thats not going to work' - it's just their opinion.

It's not fact. It's not the law. You don't have to abide by their opinion and go and do something else instead.

You can tell them to 'piss off'.

Because you also have an opinion, and you could say 'well I think you're full of shit' and off you go, doing your own amazing thing.

And just because MORE people hold a certain opinion than you, it doesn't mean they're right too.

I've been up in front of many people with a different opinion to mine, and they were ALL wrong. Yep.

You know how I know?

Because 20 years on, I'm sat writing this at my Villa near the beach, and they're still stuck in an office somewhere.

So what other factors are there ?

The guy burning sneakers probably though it would be cool and go viral, so he's actually taking an action that's based on what HE THINKS people on social media want and will get more more views and more likes, and maybe even viral.

And it did go viral, although probably not for the reasons he thought it would.

So if someone says something you disagree with, that's ok.

There are so many reasons why people think differently

- education

- cultural

- religious beliefs

- non religious beliefs (yep, some Atheists are idiots too)

- memories

- experiences

- fitting in with their 'tribe' (a collection of group opinions that all match each others core beliefs)

But here's the DIFFERENTIATOR I want to you to think about, there are INTERNAL opinions and EXTERNAL opinions.

I've made these phrases up so let me explain them.

An EXTERNAL opinion is stuff like 'breastfeeding', or 'gun control'. They're stuff that really, you're not going to be able to change.

One man shouting at a woman for breastfeeding isn't going to stop breastfeeding in general for example.

My opinion on a Facebook post about the lack of gun control isn't going to change the laws on gun control in America.

An INTERNAL OPINION however is one where the man shouting, is shouting at YOU.

And it affects you doing what you wanted to do. So a man shouting at my wife for breastfeeding in public for example, that shouldn't affect my wifes ability to breastfeed.

A person having a go at me - shouldn't change my behaviours.

There are many bullies out there of course. There are always going to be people who are physically bigger, stronger and more intimidating that will force you into a situation where you will have to capitulate.

That's ok - you're being coerced into taking a different action because of the fear of violence or intimidation - that's how bullies work.

But after you've moved away from that bully with that opinion and the fear of violence, what are you going to do - cover up and never breastfeed again ?

Of course not.

Because people like him never win. They're destined for an unhappy life - how can a person go around trying to put the world to his way, when the world is far bigger than they are ?

And so it goes with you.

Affect the things you can affect.

You have no control over the other things.

The things you can affect are

- energy to do something

- time spent doing something

- time spent learning (reading, listening, watching

- allocating time from one area of your life to another

- learning while cooking (I listened to a webinar while cooking last night on my wireless headphones)

- your immediate surroundings (ie the people you hang out with, if they're wrong, change them)

- your ability to reach out and communicate with MORE people (long form text like this, or Facebook LIVE, etc)

- there are more of course, but I havent got all day to think about them !

But opinions are like assholes. Every one has got them. And usually it's full of shit.

From people who have no idea about your situation.

- No idea what you're doing.

- No idea why you're doing it.

- No idea what the goal is you're after.

I literally got fed up of having to explain myself as to why I was doing a particular thing a particular way, so now I no longer bother.

So these days, I just go and do it.

And if it works people are like 'wow, that's amazing

And if it doesn't work, I hide it the best I can (Obviously!!)

Because behind every successful person, there is a huge swathe of failure sitting underneath.

It's like one of those landfill sites with grass and trees on top with fluffy bunny rabbits running round.

To everyone else it looks amazing.

But you know what it was built from.

So the next time someone voices their opinion, ask yourself, is this INTERNAL or EXTERNAL and does it really affect me.

Then make a decision on which way to go.

And go that way and make it happen.

Because when you're 110 year of age, lying on your death bed, you ain't going to be worried about what 'Cleetus' is thinking.